Man anar aldrig hur starka banden är förren de går av...

Fasiken va less jag är på att må dåligt hela tiden! har jag inte ont i ryggen är jag förlyld! är jag inte förkyld har jag migrän! har jag inget av det saknar jag Sarah och Ljungkan! (och resten av "The gang" men det ser konstigt ut att bara skriva en massa namn)
Den enda gången jag mår riktigt bra är på praktiken och då är ändå ryggondan som värst, men jag är ju glad då i alla fall...! Att man aldrig kan få ha det bra va!?

  


Varje måndag åker ju jag över Vadstena hem och de brukar va ganska kul att sitta i 40 minuter och inte göra ett skit... nee men jag brukar gå och köpa nåt att äta eller läsa men igår föll hopplösheten över mig! När jag gick ur bussen hade jag ingen aning om vart eller vad jag skulle ta mig till! Så istället för att sätta mig i den stinkande väntsalen eller på en av de blöta bänkarna gick jag bort, förbi slottet och ut på en pir eller vad det heter. När jag gick där i lugnan ro, memorerade minsta lilla detalj som svepte förbi mina ögon, kände hur vinden grep ett allt hårdare och kallare tag om min hals, letade sig ner i mina lungor och frös hela kroppen, en sprängande huvudvärk lotsade sig fram ur hjärnans alla vrår som gjorde huvudet för tungt för nacken att bära, klingande som klockor och ett hammrande likt trummor dånade i en ostämd symfoni ur navet av mina öron. Kroppen skakade likt ett asplöv påväg att falla från sin gren där jag gick i den allt framskridande vinter vi har att vänta oss, ansiktet hettade av en inre brand som inte gick att släcka utan bara ingav allt annat än välbehag. När jag nådde pirens kant fick jag med ens en insikt.
  - Jag börjar nog bli sjuk.
Men eftersom jag vaknade och mådde som en tunna skit fast utan feber sitter jag här i startgropen för ännu en underbar dag på praktiken! skam den som ger sig! klaga är för mesar! ;P

På Måndag ska jag och Annhelen åka till (kommer inte ihåg vad hon sa att det hette) men hennes leverans- nånting. Det är i Linköping och vi ska åka ca 06.15 Himla kul :D Alltså seriöst, det ska bli kul! Så vi öppnar först vid 10.30, bara så ni alla vet det :)  
Med nya grejor på lagret och fräscha idéer i skallen!... troligen i butiken också ;)

kollade precis klart på Den blå lagunen... himla konstig film asså! o jag fattar inte hur de kan ha så vita tänder, de bor ju för i helvete på en öde ö utan tandborstar! och himla blåsta är de med ;)

 


varför blir aldrig nånting som jag vill!? det är alltid någon eller något som ska förstöra när man äntligen får för sig att vara glad! så jävla otacksamt är de att ens försöka!
gudars va förbannad jag va förut asså! jag va så arg så jag skakade! men nu har de lugnat sig, ingenting löser sig av våld, tro mig- de gör de inte ;) 
så nu ska jag koncentrera mig på att begå brutala mord i min roman istället, det kanske lugnar mig ännu mer... 

Atone for your sins

It was a late gloomy day in October.
Rebecka was walking home from her late day shift at the hospital.
Rebecka and her friends had arranged a party at her house so Rebecka had send her two kids and her husband to their grandparents for the weekend.
  The party was planned to start at 9pm but the clock was already 8.43 and it takes at least 30 minutes for Rebecka to walk from the hospital to her house. It was a little bit remote, opposite the big graveyard. But if Rebecka took the shortcut through the park and over a private property she would end up at the backyard of the church. She didn’t like the idea, but it would save her at least 10 minutes maybe more, if she hadn´t taken the high heel shoes.
  When she got to the church she suddenly got a promotion, like something bad would happen to her. As she is afraid of the darkness, she convinced herself that nothing was out there. Just the church… and tombstones… and dead people! But it was nothing to worry about. It was less than 300 feet to the gate. But she still felt anxious of walking past the graveyard this late -alone- and she couldn´t lose that feeling.
  Rebecka got to the backdoor with the big padlock hanging around the doorknob. She just looked at it for a short moment and then kept on walking as fast as she could.
  She refused to look back, or watch through the big windows that followed the church frequently, and her, because she was afraid that someone would stare back at her. Of course no one would...
  It was less than a 100 feet between Rebecka and the gate to the graveyard when she heard something creak behind her. She stopped and slowly turned around. Rebecka had no idea where she got all the courage from to look back, but she did and just before she could focus her eyes on the only thing she could see, the church door, Rebecka heard someone scream. A woman!
  Rebeckas body stiffened, where the hell did that come from Rebecka thought and felt the panic bubble up inside her. Why couldn´t she just walk away?
Instead of walk away from that scary thing that’s out there in the dark and get home to her friends, Rebecka kept on searching the whole area, but that was not very easy, it was quite dark now.
  When she finally got back to her own brain, she started to walk towards the big gate, down the stone stair.
  It was just 7- 10 steps left when she heard the scream again and the church door slowly opened.
   Rebecka got really scared now and started to run! She jumped over a few steps but when she got to the gate she found that it was locked! She hadn´t thought of that, they lock the gate every evening at 8pm! Rebecka grunted and shacked the gate in desperate panic!
  When she finally gave up with shaking the gate, she fell down on her knees, lay her head in her hands and began to scream uncontrollably. But that didn´t last long. Rebecka froze when she felt the cold, wet thing in her face! She looked down at her hands and the most shrilled scream escaped from her lips. Her hands, face and chest were full with clear red blood! She looked around, desperate for answers, but she couldn´t find any. There were no blood at the gate, she hadn´t cut herself anywhere ether! She had no reasonable answer to where all the blood came from.
  She searched the gate, several times, but couldn´t find anything. But Rebecka knew that the blood couldn´t just BE there!
She also knew that the only way out from this place now, is to walk the same way back as she came but she was certainly not for that opportunity!
  Then she heard someone inside from the church! At first she got overwhelmed then she got frightened and jumped into a bush to the left of her, to hide!
  She spotted an old lady, with what Rebecka could see, a very bad haircut.
  Just as she was going to walk straight up to the woman and ask her if she could open the gate she heard her say “There is no reason to hide Rebecka” the woman said softly but with a bit of a threat in her voice.
  What is this? A bad joke? Rebecka was nearly crying. How did she know my name? And how did she even know that I’m here? Rebecka didn´t know what to do!
  When the old lady stepped out at the stair, where the two lamp- posts were standing, Rebecka saw what the woman really looked like! It wasn´t hair that stood up, it was her decomposed brain, coagulated blood mixed with brainsubstens and hair! Her face was sunken and blue- white. One of her eyes was hanging in just a few threads, and the eye- socket where the eye used to be was black and worms crawled out of it! Her neck was very bloody, like someone had stabbed her in the carotid artery with something big and blunted. Or maybe someone had bitten her. Her dress was white but also full with blood and… her organs! Rebecka couldn’t be sure, but she thought it was organs that were hanging out from where the stomach used to be… the dress was also full with dirt and scratches. She was wearing yellow shoes and no socks, it must have been summer when she died, Rebecka thought but regretted it immediately. She couldn´t be looking at a dead person… or could she?
  Rebecka didn´t know how long she had been sitting there, but the thing that came out from the church hadn’t moved a bit from the spot she last saw it. Maybe she had passed out? It didn´t matter because Rebecka got other things to think of now. The dead woman came right at her!
  Without thinking, Rebecka got up on her feet and ran for her life to hide behind a big tombstone. Then all of a sudden, Rebecka got this feeling that her head was about to explode! Her brain would squirt out and be spread out over the whole graveyard, her eyes would fly out of its holes and she would step on them when they hit the ground. There would be blood everywhere and Rebecka wouldn’t be able to see where her attacker was! Then she would fall over a tombstone and be stabbed by the grave ornament!
But she understood that this thing that was going after her was able to make Rebecka think she was going to die like that woman! She wasn’t sure where she got that idea, but it seemed to work, Rebecka got control over her mind again and kept on running to a place to hide.
  She registered the name on a stone and thought Rest In Peace Jim 1869- 1941, but I will soon lay behind you and smiled, then she looked back and saw the dead woman walking after her, she was limping, or her left leg was dragged after her. It looked quite fun but then She heard the dead woman, she was making some strange noise, like she was in pain but maybe more like she was enjoying it. Rebecka got freaked out!
Rebecka got to Jims last place of rest, to hide but still be able to see this sinister creature.
  Suddenly the dead one change course. Rebecka heard someone walk at the end of the church. Soon she would be able to see the person that was approaching from the back.
  When the person came in sight Rebecka went cold again. It was her friend Jasper! They worked together at the hospital! That´s strange, I thought of him like he already was dead, Rebecka thought and that scared her!
  “What are you doing on the ground Becka?” Jasper asked her, and just as she was going to tell him to run and hide, Rebecka saw the dead woman standing right behind him! She had her arms raised in attack position, ready to hit Jasper in his head. She showed her teeth like she was going to bite him!
  When Jasper saw the look of Rebeckas face, he turned around to see what was going on behind him, but it was too late. As soon as he started to move, the dead woman screamed, like she got scared, grabbed his head between her two hands and took a bite out of his neck, she got both skin and bones! Rebecka saw Jaspers face when he was attacked from nowhere, then she saw when the dead woman took another bite, but this time she ripped his whole head of, grinned, and threw it away towards Rebecka so it landed right in front of her feet! Then the dead killing woman cut Jaspers stomach with her own hand and pulled out the guts so that they hung down to the stony ground! “This was just a distraction, now it’s your turn sweetie!” The woman said.
  Rebecka couldn´t make any sound, she couldn´t believe what she just had seen! Nothing else but a tiny “pip” got out, deep down from her throat.
  Rebecka looked up, facing the dead woman with fresh blood from Jasper around her mouth and all over her chest but also her own dried blood from the day she died. The smell from the woman was terrible! It was a mixture of death, old soil and iron, probably because of all that blodd! It was just disgusting!
  Rebecka couldn´t think, she just ran! She felt the woman touch her right before she got away.
  As she ran through the graveyard she heard the woman say, like it was inside of her head.
“I´m gonna get you like I got Jasper.”
  Rebecka just kept on running!
  Then she saw something big in front of her, she had never seen it before. The closer she got, the bigger it seemed to be and the more terrified she got! It looked like… heads on stakes!
  Rebecka had no idea if this was real or if she was just imagining it! Maybe the crazy woman that was chasing her, projected this images in her head?
  Which of it, it was, she stopped, felt the life run out of her. It was at least 20 heads, some with more parts and organs of the body then just the head, on stakes. But two of the heads had captured Rebeckas attention. Rebecka thought she new those faces… then one of a sudden she knew who it was! On one stake there was Liam, her 10 year old son and on the other her 12 year old son Scott was laced, with their whole, bloody, bodies!
“Isn’t it pretty?” The woman said inside of Rebeckas head with this southern state English accent. “I’ve made them so they can make up for there sins.”
  Rebecka couldn´t breathe! She screamed and cried. She scratched in the ground until her fingers started to bleed, then she continued to scratch! Why? Why them? Why me? She thought, then she screamed “WHY MY BABIES?”
  When she saw a shadow getting closer and closer, coming from behind, she stood up, facing this evil creature that would be sleeping in her grave deep under the surface by now. She saw her grinning face with blood flowing out of her mouth. Rebecka got filled with hatred! “What is this? What are you”
  “You are about to atone for your sins my dear.”
  “What?” But before Rebecka got to say anything more, the dead woman grabbed her head, and put it a little bit at the left , opened her mouth and took a bite!...

Now, every 31^st of October, there is 21 stakes, each one of them got a head spiked at the top. There is a woman walking around the graveyard, waiting for someone to cross the graveyard again, so she can extend her “collection” of heads on stakes.